Spring Break

For Spring Break we headed to CA. It was so nice to get away from the snow here, and to enjoy the sun!!! Cameron and I had not been outside for 8 weeks!!! Needless to say we both enjoyed being outside! Cameron just loved it and was so content being out on a blanket. It was wonderful to spend quality time with the family, and of course there wasn't enough time to see everyone I wanted to. It's so hard to go down with kids and try to see all of my friends. I spent most of my time with my mom and my sister, and I loved every minute of it! The hardest was saying goodbye. It was so hard to leave her alone again in her home, and I pray for her everyday. She is an amazing strong woman, and I look up to her so much! And I am grateful to have a sister who is in the same boat as me at this time in our lives. She has helped me get through the last couple of months and I love her dearly.

Color Me Mine

The beach

We really wanted to get to the beach this trip and we did! It was perfect and watching my mom enjoy the ocean with the grandkids was priceless

Carnival

Logan and Emily had a HUGE school carnival and we thought it would be fun to go and support them. It did not disappoint, and the kids even came home with goldfishes! Too bad ours couldn't come home on the plane! Taylor had her face painted by a girl dressed up as Rapunzel and she was in heaven! She is obsessed with the movie Tangled, and wants really long hair now:)

Strawberry Farm

We headed out to the Underwood Farms in Moorpark and had a blast. This place is one of my kids favorites, and mine too. I was so excited to take Chad there since he had never been. The kids could be there all day. We got some cute pictures of Landon and Cameron together. They sure are cuties! Landon is only 1 month older, and they are going to be the best of friends!

The two men in my life

I am so in love with these two!

Things that make you go, "hmmm"

Taylor does little things that make me go "hmmm". I don't understand it, but it makes me laugh. Taylor has her own little quirks and makes us laugh everyday. She loves to stack things, put things in a row, and organize things. She also has a huge imagination and loves to play pretend. I could watch her in her little world forever! One day I found her in the bathroom quietly and carefully putting ALL of the hairbows on her pillow pet. She had them in their own sections-the little bows were together, the blue bows, the curly bows, etc. She covered the entire pillow pet, and it took her about an hour to do. Then she took them all off and did it again! I took this picture when she was only halfway done!!

2 months old

Cameron is getting more content and happy with age. The only thing he absolutely hates is his car seat. Every time he is in it he screams-which makes it hard for me to go anywhere and accomplish anything. Other than that he is a good baby and is still sleeping for 7-8 hours at a time at night! Wahoo! He smiles all the time and is so close to laughing-can't wait for that!

Stats:

Weight: 10 lbs 13 oz (30th percentile)

Head: 39 cm (30th percentile)

Height: 23 in (50th percentile)

I can do this!

I have been kind of out of it these days...just hanging out in survival mode. I haven't taken out the camera much, and haven't felt like taking pictures. But then I feel guilty that I haven't captured some of the precious moments that have happened in our home.

Some days are great and wonderful. I have it together, the kids are great and I get a lot done. Then some days are just awful and I want them to be over. I go to bed feeling guilty for not spending "quality time" with my girls, and I hope they forget and forgive me for not being there for them. They have been watching a lot of tv these days, and I hate that. Cameron is still sleeping, which has saved my life. But he is a typical fussy newborn who is very demanding and only wants me and is only content when I am holding him. He also HATES the carseat (all of my children have), and screams the entire time he is buckled in one. This makes for an exhausted mom. Some moms are excellent in tuning out their babies cry and not letting it affect them-I am NOT one of those moms. I can't stand to hear them cry and can't function when they are crying. So, I don't leave the house much, because I can't stand to hear him screaming in the back. Life is better when I just stay home...but then I am going CRAZY! Oh, I just can't win.

And then there's my dad...

Some days are ok and I do fine. But then some days it's all consuming and I can't think of anything else. Everything reminds me of him and my brain just doesn't stop going back. It's like in constant replay mode. Some days I am reminded that he is gone...and is never coming back. That feels so final and is so hard to wrap my brain around and feels so empty. But then I am comforted by the Great Comforter and am reminded that I will see him again and that the veil between us is so thin. I am grateful for this knowledge...I wouldn't survive without it.

Ok, I just had to get this off my chest.

I think Cameron is here in my life at this time to remind me that we are meant to have JOY!

AND I wanted to say Happy Anniversary to my hubby! It has been a crazy 2 years! Hopefully the next one will be calm and peaceful! In our 2 years of marriage we have dealt with my major health issues, 3 moves, a pregnancy and the passing of my dad. Chad has been supportive through it all, and I must say I am amazed that he is still with me! Thank you honey for everything and for making my dreams a reality!