Me

Well, it has been 3 weeks since my heart surgery, and it has not been easy. For the past 2 weeks I had a migraine ALL day EVERY day. It was very frustrating and depressing. I had all of this hope that my surgery would cure me and I would be a new me. I got online and read about lots of other people who had this procedure and said that it got worse for about 3 months before it got better-if it got better. I was so discouraged! Thankfully my family doctor is amazing and fought for me. I was convinced that these migraines, dizziness and light headedness were from the medication they had me on. Dr. Henry finally convinced my cardiologist that this was the case, and they agreed to have me only take 2 full aspirin a day. It takes 2 weeks for the meds to get out of my system, and so far it has been 4 days. BUT, I haven't had a migraine in those 4 days!!! I now have a cold, which sucks, but I don't have a migraine. I am still dizzy and light headed, but I can handle that. I also have this crazy pressure in my chest that makes me worry that I am having a heart attack, but they say it's normal since the device is healing and becoming a part of my heart.

I had the most amazing spiritual experience on Sunday. I will save the details for my journal, but I received a blessing from Elder Richard G Scott at church. We are blessed to have him in our ward, and it has been an amazing experience for me. The blessing was beautiful, and furthers my testimony of apostles and the gospel. He gave me wise counsel as well, and reminded me that sometimes the Lord takes pain away, and sometimes he gives us the strength to endure the pain. So true, and a lesson that I have had to learn before. He also reminded me to show gratitude to the Lord for every step I make to a full recovery. So many times we are blessed and forget to show gratitude to the one who blessed us.

The past couple of months have been extremely hard for me. Not being able to be physical, and not feeling normal, and being in pain, in the dead of winter here has been hard. But through it I have been blessed with amazing people to love and support me and my kids. Chad has been wonderful, and I keep telling myself that this too shall pass.

Oh, Taylor

Taylor is such a character, and is ALL girl. Here are a few pictures of her this past week. She loves to put on makeup, and play dress up. She lives in her own little world, and is constantly singing to herself and reading stories to herself. She is always in her happy little place, which is adorable most of the time. Except for when I am trying to get her attention to do something. She has a way of just tuning me out-fun stuff! She is a love bug and walks around telling everyone she loves them and giving them squeezes. Part of the territory of being ALL girl, is the sass that comes with it! I call her Sass E. Frass. This little girl can scream and give so much attitude. She knows how to work Chad and get exactly what she wants. And she says the funniest things. The other day she said, "I am so mad at you mommy!" I said, "Why?" and she said, "I don't know but I feel it!" Oh, here we go! BUT, she brings so much joy to our lives and we love her to pieces!

Feelin' the Love!

Here are a couple of things I have done to decorate for Valentines Day. It helps me stay busy and keeps my mind off my health. I got a cricut for Christmas and was so excited to put it to use! I did some vinyl letters for the wall.

I saw the idea of using red hots in a vase and loved it! Just put some fake tulips in and voila!
This project I have been wanting to do for a long time. I have seen these puff balls made of tissue paper, but wanted to make them out of fabric so they would last forever. I am loving them so much, that I think I will use them in the girls room to decorate! They were time consuming, but worth it! Each ball is about 13" in diameter.

Happy 40th Birthday Chad!

On Sunday Chad turned the BIG 4-0! It was a whirlwind weekend. I threw Chad a surprise party on Friday night, and was surprised that I was able to pull it off! I knew I had to plan it before my surgery, and I stole his cell phone to get his friends phone numbers. Chad didn't think I had anything up my sleeve since I was so sick the week before. I spent all day Friday at the doctor's office and had no idea how I was going to pull it together. Thank goodness his sisters helped me to get it all done in time! Everyone was waiting for us at the Asian Star Restaurant, and it was so fun to see Chad's face. He doesn't like all of the attention on him, so he just down played the whole thing and wanted everyone to just eat and act like it wasn't a special occasion. We had 24 people there! Here is a picture of Chad with the guys...I never got a shot of the entire group:( After wards we headed back to our house for rock band, games, cake and roasting Chad. I found embarrassing pictures of Chad in his past and went and had posters made of them! It was awesome to have them around the house...he wasn't too fond of it, but it turned out great! We played a game of "who knows Chad best", and learned some interesting facts about Chad.

This cake was the BEST! We discovered this place when we had a cake from it at a Christmas Party. I knew I had to get one for Chad...and they had a golf themed one, so it was perfect (red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting..mmmm)

Make a wish Honey!

Kristin and Matt took the kids overnight, which was the BEST part! We slept in until 10 am, and it was great. Then Chad headed out for a massage and a trip to the gym. I just stayed home in my PJ's and enjoyed doing NOTHING. Then we made sweet music together on Rock Band!
That night we headed to a JAZZ game...his birthday wouldn't be complete without one of those!
Sunday was the official birthday. The girls were so excited to give him Harry Potter and a book he wanted. Poor Taylor was so sick with the stomach flu that day. She was miserable in these pictures.

After church we headed to Courtney's house for dinner. Chad's favorite-crab, twice baked potatoes and steak and fruit pizza for dessert! I felt bad because I had the worst migraine and was feeling miserable on his birthday and Taylor was so sick! We survived though, and I think all in all, he had a great birthday weekend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE! I love you! Mwah!

Bowling

A week before my surgery my mom came up to be with me for 2 weeks, and it was awesome! Then my dad came up for the week of my surgery. It was so great to have them both here for emotional support. It was hard to see them go home, and the girls had a really hard time understanding why they left. It made me really homesick, but I am now doing better and looking forward to coming to CA for Valentines! The weather here has been so bad...no major storms, just really bad air quality. The worst in the nation-double New York City!!! Who would have thought? A couple of days before my surgery we took the girls bowling for a fun night out. They had this ramp for the kids to use, and the girls loved it!

Then on Weds. we meet my dad's siblings and some Kirkland cousins at the Mandarin for dinner. It was fun and great to see everyone and see my dad with his family.

My surgery

So I am fixed and at home recovering. The surgery went well, and they were surprised how big the hole really was. I thought I had a PFO (the common hole in a lot of people's hearts), but they found out that I had an ASD ( a congenital heart defect). The hole was 1/2 inch, and the device they had to use to close it was 1 inch. They ran a bunch of tests the day before the surgery to see just how much "bad blood" was leaking through my heart and heading straight to my brain. They do this to see how high the risk was for a stroke. The "bad blood" carries plaque and blood clots that are supposed to be sent to the lungs to be cleaned. Since I have a hole, they leak and go to my head instead. The test they did on my brain to see how much of it was going there was off the charts. On a scale of 1-5, I was a 5+, when I was resting! The Dr. says it's common to get that high when they put strain on the heart, but mine was that bad when I was just sitting there! On a scale of 1-10, a 2 is at high risk for a stroke...and I was a 10!!! Very scary! It's a good thing I wasn't pregnant again...that doubles my risk!

So, I am glad they were able to fix it. Here's a picture of what the device looks like in my heart

I feel better every day. I have had heart palpitations, a tight chest, dizziness and headaches, but they say that will go away within a month. Here's to a healthy heart!

A Hole In My Heart

I am relieved, and anxious to find out what is hopefully causing all of my health issues. It all started when I got pregnant with Katelyn, and has progressively gotten worse over the past 6 months. My symptoms were dizziness, fatigue, shortness of breath and aura migraines, which included numbness, loss of vision and speech followed by a severe migraine. When I first had one of these I was pregnant with Katelyn and terrified. I went to the ER, and they thought I had a stroke. They gave me an MRI, but found nothing. I have had a lot of these episodes, and doctors have never been able to find out what was wrong with me. I have had several CAT scans and MRI's done, but found nothing. After moving to Utah my symptoms got terribly worse and I was at the Dr every week, trying different things and running lots of tests. I have an amazing Dr, who specializes in migraines, and was determined to find out what was wrong with me. The last time I went in to see him, my blood pressure was extremely low (90/50) and I was extremely weak. I was determined to find out what was wrong with me and knew that I couldn't keep dealing with this on a daily basis.

My Dr. then mentioned to me that he thought I might have a hole in my heart...WHAT!? That sounds awful! What does my heart have to do with my head? Anyway, I went in and had a bubble echo done on my heart, and sure enough there it was...in between the left and right chamber of my heart. I am still learning about this, but have found out that it is a very common thing (1 in 5 people), and most people live their whole lives and never find out they have it. I started having symptoms when I was pregnant because your blood flow increases 50% and my heart was struggling. The biggest risk of having a hole in your heart is having a stroke.

So, this Thursday I am going in the fix the hole in my heart. They don't have to cut me open, thank goodness. They are able to go in through an artery and fix it. Hopefully this will fix my symptoms and I can feel normal again, but the main reason to do this is to reduce my risk of having a stroke from 20% to 1%.

So, here I go. I am anxious and nervous, but grateful to have found the problem! I was so tired of Dr. telling me I was normal, when I knew I wasn't. My parents are in town for support and to help me with the girls, and Chad has been amazing. He has been picking up all of my slack for the past couple of months and I am very grateful for him. Thank you to everyone who has prayed and fasted on my behalf. The outpouring of love and support has been overwhelming. Once again, I am blessed!

Happy New Year!

2009 has been a year FULL of changes and blessings! Here's a recap...

JANUARY-Chad had just proposed and so we were engaged and planning a wedding in 2 different states! It was also Chad's birthday, and we went to Disneyland AGAIN

And baby Carson entered the world! What a wonderful day that was and he is such a blessing!

FEBRUARY- We got the amazing news that Chad and I could be sealed together! PErfect news for me and my valentine!

MARCH-We moved to Utah!!! That experience was a nightmare and I finally got my stuff from the moving truck the DAY BEFORE the wedding!
APRIL-Chad and I were married in the Salt Lake Temple. Other than the snow storm, the day was perfect and our family couldn't have been happier!

MAY- I had a wonderful 30th birthday and Mothers Day!

JUNE-Katelyn had the birthday celebration of a lifetime! It lasted for 2 weeks and we all went to Sea World as well to celebrate!
JULY- We had a crazy summer with lots of vacations, and family time. It was our first summer in Utah, so we did EVERYTHING with the kids we could find. The highlight of the month was definitely staying at the beach house with Chad's family in CA.

AUGUST- Was Taylor's 2nd birthday! And a fun trip to Cherry Hill
SEPTEMBER- We had one of our trips down to St George with Chad's family. And I started getting crafty and working on fun projects around the house.

OCTOBER-Traveling to CA every other month has been exhausting but a blast! I think that's the only reason I survived my first year away from my family-I got to visit them a lot. We had fun celebrating Halloween with the CA cousins in sunny CA.
NOVEMBER- We spent Thanksgiving in St George without the girls, and that was HARD. But Chad was awesome and got us a hotel in Vegas to try and take my mind of it. We had a great weekend, and it was great to have the girls back before it was over!

DECEMBER- Our first Christmas together as a family, and it was wonderful! Every weekend we did something fun with the girls, and we also spent a week in CA. Christmas couldn't have been more perfect. I also finally found out what was causing all of my health problems and that I could get it fixed in January! What a blessing!

We have had a great year! It hasn't been perfect by any means, and there has been a lot of adjusting and settling, but life is as it should be. This year is night and day difference from the year before, and it's fun to reflect. I am grateful for all of my blessings and for the Lord's tender mercies.

2010 is bound to be great! Our major goals are to finally sell our house and buy a new one and to hopefully get pregnant:)